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Hoisted by my own petard.

Hang up your Chisels and Plane blades and take a load off with a recently turned goblet of your favourite poison, in the lounge of our Gentlemen's (and ladies) Club.

Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby RogerS » 07 Apr 2021, 17:41

My favourite 'Beer of tjhe Moment' was Saltaire Blonde (still is). Waitrose Hexham used to stock it. Trouble was, their stocking level was only one bottle-worth wide on the shelf and so I'd buy all of them.

So their computer decided "Oooh...this is going well. Let's up the stocks. Make it two bottles wide."

So I bought the lot again. Just stockpiling, I hasten to add.

So the computer again decided "Oooh...this is going even better. Let's up the stocks. Make it four bottles wide"

So I bought the lot again. Still just stockpiling, I hasten to add.

So the computer again decided "Oooh...this is going even better than I thought. Let's up the stocks. Make it eight bottles wide"

I only bought two rows worth this time.

The computer got the hump. It's now been delisted :o
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Lurker » 07 Apr 2021, 18:32

Clearly waitrose computer reads the woodhaven forum in its spare time and Sussed what you were up to.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Lons » 07 Apr 2021, 19:28

:lol: :lol: :lol:
I recon someone monitoring the CCTV picked up that it was all being bought by one guy and thought "that guy's a alcoholic, lets help him out".
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Andyp » 07 Apr 2021, 20:07

If Roger used his store card they wouldn’t need CCTV.

I ran out of proper beer a year ago and have not been able to cross the channel to stock up. I discovered Leffe Brune and it is my go to at the moment ( although I’ve not touched a drop for a month now ).
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby TrimTheKing » 07 Apr 2021, 20:12

Andyp wrote:If Roger used his store card they wouldn’t need CCTV.

I ran out of proper beer a year ago and have not been able to cross the channel to stock up. I discovered Leffe Brune and it is my go to at the moment ( although I’ve not touched a drop for a month now ).


Get yourself a couple of Devel. You'll only need a couple! :obscene-drinkingcheers: :obscene-drinkingbuddies: :eusa-whistle:
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby TrimTheKing » 07 Apr 2021, 20:28

Roger

Just had a chat with a good mate of mine who is alcohol buyer for Co-Op and asked him about this. Here's our chat:

Carl: Saltaire Blonde is really nice, they do a few good ones. The process he's talking about would generally take months but he's probably talking about a 'local beers' fixture were each area manager or store manager could stock at his/her own discretion probably based on sales and customer requests. We do the same in remote areas.

Mark: So probably not a computer based stocking decision?
Mark: Too small numbers for that?

Carl: No, it would be a range of local beers that producers only deliver to the warehouse local to the area.

Carl: So for Hexham in North East they would get Theakstons, black sheep, newcy brown, saltaire, Radgie gadgey, workie ticket etc!


Sounds like it's potentially a managers choice rather than computer stocking given the size. Or maybe you're right. Go full 'Karen' and ask to speak to the manager next time you're in. :lol:
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby TrimTheKing » 07 Apr 2021, 20:29

Oooh, follow up:

Carl: In some areas those beers out sell Carling, Carlsberg etc. It can get quite tribal!

We have a store in Portsmouth that has to sell Newcastle Brown because of all the Geordie navy seaman. It sells more than any other store. It gets queried every range review when they change buyers! :lol:
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby novocaine » 07 Apr 2021, 21:59

To miss quote Roger.
Carling and calsberg. Like sex in a canoe. :D
Carbon fibre is just corduroy for cars.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby AJB Temple » 07 Apr 2021, 23:35

I can't see the problem with sex in a canoe. They are designed to bob up and down after all.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Woodbloke » 08 Apr 2021, 07:07

Current fave ale from Waitrose is St.Austell 'Proper Job' IPA at 5.5% alchofrolics which they currently sell at £6 for 4. Really nice hoppy IPA - Rob
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Cabinetman » 08 Apr 2021, 09:38

I had to check the date on this Roger, you’ve been here before trying to outpsych the supermarket – what happened last time? Ian
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby TrimTheKing » 08 Apr 2021, 10:03

Cabinetman wrote:I had to check the date on this Roger, you’ve been here before trying to outpsych the supermarket – what happened last time? Ian


I think this is a follow on from the previous post on the same topic.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby novocaine » 08 Apr 2021, 10:14

AJB Temple wrote:I can't see the problem with sex in a canoe. They are designed to bob up and down after all.

Not enough push back, ruins the rhythm.

Making love to a beautiful lady is a lot like playing music. You spent an age figuring out where to put your fingers, even longer trying to get your instrument in tune with hers and in the end you give up and watch someone better than you at on the tele.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Woodster » 08 Apr 2021, 11:05

I have a similar situation with Fentimans Rose Tonic. They won’t sell it online from Sainsbury’s, you have to go into the shop. As a result I normally buy six to eight 500ml bottles. I think it’s mean to clear a shelf completely so I always make sure there’s a bottle or two left for someone else. ;)
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Sheffield Tony » 08 Apr 2021, 12:11

novocaine wrote:Making love to a beautiful lady is a lot like playing music.


Not if you play tuba :shock:

But what is this talk of Carling and Carlsberg ? Are we youfff ? I drank lager up to 18, then became a student and drank anything and everything for a few years, now graduated onto proper dark stuff.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby RogerS » 08 Apr 2021, 12:24

Sheffield Tony wrote:
novocaine wrote:Making love to a beautiful lady is a lot like playing music.


Not if you play tuba :shock:

But what is this talk of Carling and Carlsberg ? Are we youfff ? I drank lager up to 18, then became a student and drank anything and everything for a few years, now graduated onto proper dark stuff.


Dark stuff ? Not that ghastly Gwines, surely ?
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby RogerS » 08 Apr 2021, 12:25

Woodbloke wrote:Current fave ale from Waitrose is St.Austell 'Proper Job' IPA at 5.5% alchofrolics which they currently sell at £6 for 4. Really nice hoppy IPA - Rob


Bit too high in % for me, Rob. I prefer 4% or below. A good session beer. Mind you, some companies seem to think that 6% is a session beer :o

Out of curiosity, how many of you are hightailing it to the pub on Monday ? I'm certainly not.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby 9fingers » 08 Apr 2021, 13:29

I'm certainly not rushing out to the pub for the sake of going to the pub. Unlikely to be anyone there I know anyway.
However, I have missed pre-arranged social meet up with mates that we tend to have in a pub.
Also SWMBO and I usually have a pub lunch once a fortnight which saves me cooking that evening and in the intervening weeks I meet ex work colleagues in a local social club for sandwich lunch and pint. So looking forward for those to return when we can go inside.
No way am I going freeze my nuts off drinking/eating outside in April thank you!

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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Mike G » 08 Apr 2021, 13:50

RogerS wrote:......Out of curiosity, how many of you are hightailing it to the pub on Monday ? I'm certainly not.


Not me. It never crossed my mind.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Alasdair » 08 Apr 2021, 13:52

i got given one of these https://thegreatergood.co.uk/ after fitting my sisters kitchen, the beer is surprisingly good and customer service is excellent
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Sheffield Tony » 08 Apr 2021, 13:55

RogerS wrote:Dark stuff ? Not that ghastly Gwines, surely ?


There's no need to go that far, just a nice bitter / IPA. Since you sort of ask, I'm currently liking Badger brewery Tanglefoot/Twice tangled/Fursty Ferret, Black Sheep, or some quite nice ones from Chiltern brewery, which is conveniently near Stoke Mandeville hospital which I've been visiting periodically since my broken ankle. It is probably quite a common combo with outpatient appointments, as they didn't bat an eyelid at me hobbling in on crutches !
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Malc2098 » 08 Apr 2021, 15:22

Hatherwood Ruby from Lidl. Just over one pound.

BTW, shouldn't it be 'Foisted'?
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Robert » 08 Apr 2021, 15:34

Home brew for me. I have a chest freezer in the workshop with 5 kegs in it. Stout, Cider, pale ale, lager and bitter all on tap. It is on a temperature controller so operates at fridge temperatures not freezer.

CBA with boiling up grains etc so all from kits but I tweak them with added hops so a little customised. I get to set the ABV by controlling the added brewing sugar. 4 to 4.5% for me.

Could be a temptation to drink a lot but I never have more than 1 pint of an evening. Friends and family when they can visit are not so restrained but drinking is what it is there for and it is pleasing that they like it as much as I do.
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby Woodbloke » 08 Apr 2021, 16:01

Robert wrote:Home brew for me.

Could be a temptation to drink a lot but I never have more than 1 pint of an evening.


Been there, done that and got all the T shirts and mess to prove it :lol: I gave up on that game a long time ago and agree that the temptation is too great. I used to put my ale in 5 gallon kegs (I had three :o ) and I also had some forty vintage quart cider bottles with the very 'old skool' rubber sealing ring. Once I'd opened a bottle, it seemed churlish not to finish it; my excuse was that it wouldn't keep anyway so had to be imbibed.

I also did wine and raided a colleague's orchard for apples which then were turned into about 20 gallons of dry whit wine, most of which was subsequently given away. I recollect I once tried to make around three or four gallons of elderberry wine and pressed out the neat juice which I then put into several demijohns, sealing each one with a solid rubber bung.

I placed the jars on top of some kitchen units ready for the morning, but what I hadn't anticipated was the natural yeast in the must. Mid way through the night, we heard (and I kid you not) the roaring sound of what appeared to be a volcano coming from the kitchen. I told SWIMBO to stay put and went downstairs to see that the jars had exploded, leaving raw, neat elderberry juice all over the walls and ceiling :o :o

It took me as I recollect several hours to clean up the horrible, sticky mess which had soaked into the paintwork. I had to re-decorate the kitchen and seal in the stain with a couple of coats of thick, gloopy gloss paint before applying emulsion.

What wine I did make I could never make weak enough (strangely) as it always, but always ended up as proverbial rocket fuel so eventually I gave up home brewing altogether. If we now want to have a bottle of wine or a few beers, I now have to make the run out to Waitrose to get some - Rob
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Re: Hoisted by my own petard.

Postby MattS » 08 Apr 2021, 17:28

Homebrew is another one of my many hobbies... but one that I've kept up for many years now. Wine is for the enjoyment of all stages, from picking the crop - almost all foraged through to drinking it. Last year I only managed to make elderflower wine and oak leaf wine, but 24 bottles in total. Years passed I have managed over 60 bottles. My wine cellar has probably 50 or so bottles of varying vintages. I measure ABV, and always tend to find my country wines are low AB and as they're all natural we find if we drink a bottle between us there's no hangover.

I do exactly the same as you Robert and tweak kits - the equipment if nothing else is so bulky for beer.
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