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Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Hang up your Chisels and Plane blades and take a load off with a recently turned goblet of your favourite poison, in the lounge of our Gentlemen's (and ladies) Club.

Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby RogerS » 02 Jul 2017, 16:52

Or at least it would seem so.

Last Sunday....LOML happened to walk round the garage just as a couple were starting to wander around.

"Excuse me", she says, " Are you lost?"

"Oh no" came the reply. "We've come up for a look round".

LOML kept silent.

"We met you at the Hotel"

"I'm afraid you didn't" she says.

"But we've come for a look round"

LOML kept silent.

"We met you on the bridge"

"No, you definitely did not" she replies.

"But we've come to look round"

Jeez...what planet are these people on? I thought where we lived before was a bit of a theme park as far as some people were concerned but here, these idiots take it to a whole new level.

Or so I thought.

A few minutes ago, she came round the corner from the garage to find a car had driven up our drive, had reversed onto our lawn and the couple were proceeding to get out and lock it. They were insistent that they were doing the walk and, yet again, the idiots lacked the mental ability to comprehend the words 'This is private land".

What planet are these effing people on ? Bloody good job they didn't meet me. I'm not so polite. I'd park one car in front and one behind then go down the pub for the evening.

:evil: :evil:
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Re: Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby Phil » 02 Jul 2017, 16:58

:lol: :lol:

You want to live next to old people!!!!




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Re: Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby Tusses » 02 Jul 2017, 17:03

:lol: :lol:

ours is gated to the garden , but we get people everyday knock the door asking about this or that in the garden, or "they've come so far to have a look" , "can we have a look around" ! .. :shock:

people !

our boundary is the canal .. so all the boaters and walkers on the other side can see in. Yet still they look at you in your own garden as if to say, can you move, I cant see behind you ! :evil:

as for Twazzock ! :lol: .. I haven't heard that since last of the summer wine :lol:
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Re: Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby Pinch » 02 Jul 2017, 19:56

Aww bless em...

:lol: :lol:

I would start playing some sort of acting role with them.

You could always install a new sign on your gate, reading....



ATTENTION ! ! !

Although this land is ((((PRIVATELY OWNED)))), the owner loves to entertain unannounced visitors who find themselves either parking their cars on his drive or going for random walks around the estate. If you're about to embark on such a bold adventure, please be aware this notice comes with a polite warning.

For those who choose to ignore the above notice, the chances of bumping into a naked man going about his daily business "ON HIS PRIVATELY OWNED LAND" is highly likely. If this still doesn't deter your from now intentional trespassing, you will also like to be aware the owner of this land is a member of "The Ministry of Silly Walks" who performs on a daily basis whilst singing rather loudly and out of tune "Oh I've got a lovely pair of coconuts".

Please note, if you find this notice offensive, then STAY OFF MY BOOKING LAND AND BOOK OFF TO ANNOY SOME OTHER POOR BAR STEWARD!!

HUFF HUFF

Thank you.


:text-bravo:

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Re: Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby Andyp » 02 Jul 2017, 21:37

Maybe someone has put your house up for sale?
I do not think therefore I do not am.

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Re: Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby 9fingers » 02 Jul 2017, 22:15

Roger, next time just put on your plus fours and a twelve bore over your arm and wander nearby.
Let off a couple of shots into the trees at imaginary birds and I think the b'strds will soon get going.


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Re: Sunday is the day for gormless twazzocks

Postby Phil » 03 Jul 2017, 07:33

Erect a board at the gate "Entrance fee $50.00 per person" :lol:





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