Saturday.
After what seemed like the nth group of straggling teenagers unable to read a map and too busy yakking to engage the collective brain and so gaily assuming that 'if it's tarmac then it must be the way to go' rather than opening their eyes and seeing the sign saying 'Public Footpath' and a bloody great arrow...
I decided to try and impart some tradecraft with them.
"Where are you trying to get to ?" says I.
"We're going up there to the river" came the reply.
"Interesting, "says I. "So you're going up the hill to the river. Where do rivers usually run ?". Blank looks.
"OK...let's try another approach. Where is the river on your map ?". Blank looks
"It's that thin blue wavy line", says I.
"OK...where do you think you are on the map" ? "Here" he said pointing at a heavily annotated spot on the map obscuring all detail of relevance.
"Yes...and which way round should the map be to find the river ?" Blank looks.
"Do you have a compass ?"
"Yes" piped up one of the girls. "It's in my rucksack", she said, starting to take off her rucksack to get it.
"OK...no need for that. It's 12 noon and so in which direction is the sun? "
"Up there", they replied pointing up at the sun.
Aaaargh..
"It's noon and so the sun is in the ?"
"East" she said with all seriousness.
"No. It's in the South and so your map is the wrong way round. The river is in the opposite direction to where you are heading which is uphill and rivers flow downhill.
But I'll make it easier for you. You need to turn back, walk down to that sign down there that says "Public footpath' and 'River "