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The zoo

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The zoo

Postby Andyp » 09 Jan 2020, 14:12

We went to a local zoo over christmas. One of the most fascinating exhibits was a baguette. I kid you not.
It was bred in captivity.

Sorry.
I do not think therefore I do not am.

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Re: The zoo

Postby Mike G » 09 Jan 2020, 14:35

:eusa-hand: :eusa-hand: :eusa-naughty: :eusa-snooty: :eusa-snooty: :eusa-snooty:

Baguette? Bread? Well, I guess you can stretch the definition of anything these days....... :lol:
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Re: The zoo

Postby TrimTheKing » 09 Jan 2020, 14:36

We went too.

Wasn't impressed. The only animal was a dog.

It was a Shihtzu !
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Re: The zoo

Postby Woodbloke » 09 Jan 2020, 15:21

I made a wall hung cabinet a few years ago that Andy mentioned would be perfect for the storage of said baguettes :D - Rob
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Re: The zoo

Postby Malc2098 » 09 Jan 2020, 17:43

Thank you! Kindly leave the stage!
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Re: The zoo

Postby Phil » 09 Jan 2020, 19:08

Really chaps, this is a bit stale?
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Re: The zoo

Postby Mike G » 09 Jan 2020, 20:31

Coming up:

.......crumbs of comfort........
.......crusty.....
.......use your loaf.......
.......best thing since sliced bread.....
......bread and butter......
........bread and water diet....
.........man does not live by bread alone.......
.....the staff of life.....
.......half baked.....


and, dare I say it

..........big baps......

This thread could take a while.
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Re: The zoo

Postby TrimTheKing » 09 Jan 2020, 21:02

I like baguettes but I couldn’t eat one for a wholemeal...


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Re: The zoo

Postby SamQ aka Ah! Q! » 09 Jan 2020, 21:31

"Dough!!"
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Re: The zoo

Postby techauthorbob » 11 Jan 2020, 21:47

I met my wife in a zoo way back in 1971...she's a keeper. :oops:
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Re: The zoo

Postby TrimTheKing » 16 Jan 2020, 18:55

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, & told her to mash up some green persimmons & rub them on her nipples and all over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up & you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said,

“Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday.
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Re: The zoo

Postby RogerS » 16 Jan 2020, 19:05

Which reminds me of a true story which some of you may recall.

I'd sold one of our computers to a solicitors for wordprocessing. After a few day, they rang me to say that there was something wrong with it as from time to time there would be random characters entered. I visited them and could find nothing wrong. A few days later, they complained again. I swapped it out for another one. Few days later they complained again.

So I visited them for the nth time but this time saw they had someone typing stuff...someone who I'd not seen before. She was very well endowed. She was also very short-sighted but vanity precluded her from wearing glasses. So from time to time she'd want to check something on the screen and so leant forward for a better look.

You can guess the rest :D
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Re: The zoo

Postby Malc2098 » 17 Jan 2020, 00:42

Reminds me of the one when the vicar was telling the ten commandments in his sermon and when he got to thou shalt not commit adultery, he remembered where he left his bike. ;)
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Re: The zoo

Postby RogerS » 17 Jan 2020, 09:31

Or the train compartment with a three passengers - a vicar doing the Times crossword and a couple also doing the Times crossword. After a while, husband says to his wife...."You know, 4D..I just can't get it. Four letters...last three are U N T and the clue says "Relatively female".

His wife replies "Aunt, silly"

"Damn" says the vicar scratching out his answer.
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