It is currently 28 Mar 2024, 13:35

Mirth, if needed.

Hang up your Chisels and Plane blades and take a load off with a recently turned goblet of your favourite poison, in the lounge of our Gentlemen's (and ladies) Club.

Mirth, if needed.

Postby Malc2098 » 28 Mar 2020, 11:52

Nothing much on the supermarket shelves yesterday, so I decided to improvise.

Dinner last night was a risotto I made with mushrooms foraged locally.

Not only was it delicious, but soon after a Welsh male voice choir of purple elephants showed up and sang the whole of Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell album, accompanied by a light show!

:D
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby tracerman » 28 Mar 2020, 12:59

Malc - excellent , it reminds me of the sixties . not that I can remember of course ......
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby TrimTheKing » 28 Mar 2020, 14:02

Very good, here's another...

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Cheers
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Malc2098 » 28 Mar 2020, 14:06

U wkd boy, Mark! :lol:
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Rod » 28 Mar 2020, 14:49



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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby TrimTheKing » 28 Mar 2020, 15:03

Malc2098 wrote:U wkd boy, Mark! :lol:


:lol: Funny though eh! :eusa-dance:
Cheers
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby RogerS » 28 Mar 2020, 16:42

Reminds me of the one about the Lone Ranger. He's been captured by Indians and given three nights to contemplate the errors of his ways before he is killed. But Indian tradition says that each night the condemned man is entitled to one wish.

So the first night, the Indian Chief asks the Lone Ranger for his wish. "I'd like to speak to my horse, please" he says. Bemused the Chief brings over Silver, the Lone Ranger whispers in his ear and Silver gallops off, returning a couple of hours later being ridden by a stunning, naked blonde who spends the night with the Lone Ranger doing all sorts of pleasurable things. The next day she leaves.

On the second night, the Indian Chief asks the Lone Ranger for his wish. "I'd like to speak to my horse, please" he says. Bemused even more, the Chief brings over Silver, the Lone Ranger whispers in his ear and Silver gallops off, returning a couple of hours later being ridden by a stunning, naked brunette who spends the night with the Lone Ranger doing all sorts of even more pleasurable things. The next day she also leaves.

On the third and final night, the Indian Chief asks the Lone Ranger for his wish. "I'd like to speak to my horse, please" he says. Utterly bemused, the Chief brings over Silver. The Lone Ranger holds Silvers' head in his hands and gazes into the horses eyes. "Now listen carefully" he says. "I will tell you one last time. Bring posse"
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Malc2098 » 28 Mar 2020, 17:14

:lol:

That's even worse, Roger!
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby fiveeyes » 28 Mar 2020, 22:47

Malc2098 wrote:Nothing much on the supermarket shelves yesterday, so I decided to improvise.

Dinner last night was a risotto I made with mushrooms foraged locally.

Not only was it delicious, but soon after a Welsh male voice choir of purple elephants showed up and sang the whole of Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell album, accompanied by a light show!

:D

Good one...had a hearty laugh. :text-goodpost:
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Malc2098 » 29 Mar 2020, 11:07

Did you know, Viagra won't make you James Bond, but it might make you Roger Moore! ;)
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Gill » 29 Mar 2020, 13:26

Prince Charles is at home with Covid - 19

Prince Andrew is at home with Jennifer - 14
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby 9fingers » 29 Mar 2020, 14:33

Information on induction motors here
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dBTVXx ... sp=sharing
Email:motors@minchin.org.uk
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Rod » 29 Mar 2020, 16:03

Image


My new shopping trolley

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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby Malc2098 » 29 Mar 2020, 16:03

9fingers wrote:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8KPbJ0-DxTc



:text-goodpost: Nicked!
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Re: Well behaved anti virus for windows (7)

Postby Malc2098 » 29 Mar 2020, 16:11

For all you Noddy fans!

[youtube]jVOmf28QGEQ[/youtube]

Moved as requested. Bob
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Re: Mirth, if needed.

Postby RogerM » 07 Apr 2020, 17:28

This Thursday, in honour of all Amazon delivery drivers, let's all go out and give a big round of applause, anytime between 8am and 6pm.
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