Delivery company phrase translator

[RogerS]

Yodel: "We've left your parcel in a safe place"

Translation: "We couldn't be arsed to try and find your house so we chose one at random, dumped your parcel there, took a quick photo and scarpered"

 

[Spectric]

They are called Yodel for a simple reason, when you ask them what has happened to your parcel they just say go and f-----ing yodel.

 

[jimhanna]

DHL Drop it, Hide it, Lose it
DPD Destroying Parcels Daily
UPS yoUr Parcels Screwed
Yodel YOur DElivery's Lost
Evri Evrithing about this company is f*&cked

As you'll gather I have had some bad experiences with couriers,
to the point where I usually won't buy online unless it says Royal Mail
delivery.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

The worst by a mile here is Royal Mail.

 

[marineboy]

I have never, ever, had DPD screw up a delivery. Their app keeps you updated with the precise time your parcel is due within the hour time slot they give you at the start of the day. Despite the willingness of their staff round here to do their best, Royal Mail is appalling. Why can’t they and other couriers use similar software to DPD?

 

[AJB Temple]

Royal Mail - useless here. Detest them.

 

[Lons]

A completely different experience here as I very rarely have a problem with any of them although the really good Evri driver has recently left after seven years so we'll have to see how the new one does. He's been ok so far.

RM is excellent here and it helps that our postie is superb. I know the parcels delivery guy as well as he went to school with my brother so it's all down to people and attitudes. I wouldn't do any of the delivery jobs for the hassle, pressure they're under and pittance they are paid.

I did think I had an issue with Yodel last week with a parcel delay but it turned out that the ebay seller who quoted UK stock was lying and the item was actually posted from China. I complained to Ebay with evidence and of course they just dismissed it.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Our posties are excellent - it's the rest of the setup that isn't.

 

[Spectric]

The problem with the royal mail is that they are burdened with letters and cannot just concentrate on parcels. We don't get mail on Saturdays but do get parcels and if they are delivering a parcel then often you also get any mail as well.

 

[TrimTheKing]

I have never, ever, had DPD screw up a delivery. Their app keeps you updated with the precise time your parcel is due within the hour time slot they give you at the start of the day. Despite the willingness of their staff round here to do their best, Royal Mail is appalling. Why can’t they and other couriers use similar software to DPD?

Funny how everyone's local stories are different. Evri/Yodel all pretty good round my way as it's the same lady for all and she's great and diligent.

DPD on the other hand, despite being 1 mile from the depot they ALWAYS insist on putting us last on the delivery schedule. If we have one particular driver who has a brain, he delivers to me first because we're 60 seconds drive away and it makes sense to him, but if he's not on then I've had to go and collect so many times because they get to the end of their shift, are behind, so we suddenly get a pop up to say they tried to deliver and we weren't home.

This once happened as I was stood IN THE DRIVEWAY waiting for the delivery, and saw the driver drive past on his way back to the depot, then 2 mins later a message to say apparently I wasn't in to take delivery.

I video'd him driving past and showed it to them when I went to collect. Nobody gave a flying monkey's sh*te!

 

[spb]

rm never gave me any compensation.

None of them will, because their contract isn't with you. Your contract is with the seller, so it's their responsibility to make sure the item you're buying is delivered to you. They contract the delivery company to do that on their behalf, so if the item doesn't turn up (or gets thrown in the bin) then the seller compensates you, and the delivery company compensates the seller.

 

[Pete Maddex]

It seems to be how good your driver is determines your experience with a company, I have seen threads on other forums where one company is great in one area and bad in another. So it’s the luck of the draw, the best thing to do is be nice to your driver, if you see him.

Pete

 

[AndyP]

What you folks need is a system where your locked letterbox is next to the pavement and the postmen has a master key to drop off parcels less than approx 12”x12”x12”.
We do not seem to have the plethora of delivery companies that you folks have either. Stuff that I buy from across Euroland typically uses DHL or UPS, nationally the parcel delivery service affiliated with the postal service is pretty good too.

 

[Lurker]

Within six months there would be master keys in every yobbo’s pocket.

 

[Woodbloke]

Same here with RM and the rest of the delivery firms. They've all been excellent and on time with their deliveries, though last year we left an old (but very good) pair of Wilkinson pruners on the back porch window sill. This year, despite our searches, it's vanished.....probably into a delivery driver's pocket - Rob

 

[AndyP]

Within six months there would be master keys in every yobbo’s pocket.

I’ve often wondered why I do not see reports of thefts from letterboxes, It must happen of course but does not seem to attract much attention.

 

[Blackswanwood]

While there are many wrinkles in the systems (IT and people) that delivery and logistics companies use on the whole I’d say it works - often very well.

I ordered some clear parcel tape on eBay at 6pm yesterday. I had tracking information by 8pm and it was delivered by an Amazon driver at about 11am this morning.

 

[Steve Maskery]

That's very good, Robert.
Here in rural France most deliveries are by Chronopost, the State service, though occasionally we get DPD. Usually deliveries are trouble-free, but even with Prime, it often takes 3 or 4 days from order to delivery. I'm expectimg some label tapes tomorrow, ordered Friday.
S