What would you do? It’s not wood.

[AJB Temple]

Small restaurant. 12 covers normally and on the evening in question a set 8 course tasting menu pre agreed in detail. Very nice customer coupe books a group several weeks ago in person. We agree menu, they confirm allergy check from the FSA list (none) and pay 50% deposit. One week from booked date, we confirm in writing, they pay further 25% and we order the food. No cancellation or refunds after this point. Menu is premium ingredients and has meat and fish. We have their pre-paid choice of wine delivered.

On the night they turn up on time.... and have added two guests without telling us. No problem, we say we have enough food and can rearrange the seating. Then the two extras say one of them is coeliac, plus she has a nut allergy which is pistachios, peanuts & macadamia. The other one says he is not allergic to seafood but he doesn’t eat it and he also is “off meat at the moment”.

We have a private discussion with the host and point out that every piece of correspondence says we must have prior notification of these things as we can only avoid allergens and intolerances on a set menu if we know in advance. It’s a set menu and includes hand dived king scallops, a turbot dish that they requested, which is partially wrapped in mangalitza (other spellings are available), a very large prime grass fed organic rib of beef that they requested (with other stuff) and the celebration desert they specifically asked us to make for them based on a Ramsay recipe they had at his 3 star (Matt Abe at the helm) has pistachio crumb and pistachio cream and has to be pre-made hours ago.

It’s 8 courses all of which require non trivial pre prep. Host is it seems intimidated by the extra female, who is kicking off loudly, saying maybe her husband should rustle up something himself in the kitchen as he is a very good cook and knows what she likes. The said male member is already “refreshed” by this point though no wine has been opened yet. Over refreshed seems a certainty before long.

Customer has paid about £1,200 by this point plus wine (much more) and flowers. It’s an important event for them and we tried hard.

So, what would you do? (NB You do not have magic powers and it is 7.30pm and food is ready to rock).

 

[Trevanion]

It's a tricky one, but if they decided to include extra people with special requirements without a prior arrangement that's really on them.

Not really the same, but if you had ordered a bus from a bus company to collect 16 people and they had asked you on the phone whether anyone needed wheelchair access and you replied no, they would turn up with an old 16-seater minibus with no wheelchair accessibility and suddenly there's 4 extra people on top of the 16 arranged and one person in a wheelchair, it wouldn't be fair on the bus company to expect them to entertain that.

 

[Chris152]

Offer them an omelette?

I guess try to match what is in the kitchen with what they can eat - what more could you possibly do?

 

[Blackswanwood]

Offer them an omelette?

I guess try to match what is in the kitchen with what they can eat - what more could you possibly do?

Deliveroo

 

[Cabinetman]

Yes a problem, but of their making, seems fairly obvious that they can’t eat what you have prepared so if they want to eat they will have to (with your gracious permission) order something in.
Sounds like you are running a top notch restaurant there Adrian - hard work with long hours!

 

[RogerS]

Is the £1200 for all four? Rock and hard place. What is the social media exposure likely to be? If minimal then offer the extra couple something very simple, involving as little effort as possible in the kitchen. They have, after all, broken the contract.

You have my sympathies. Sounds like a cracking restaurant

 

[Duncan A]

Refuse to serve the nut allergic "customer" as the risk is too great given that your kitchen cannot guarantee that all food is free of such ingredients after having prepared the arranged meal.
Offer to prepare something veggy for the no meat, no fish idiot but don't make it sound too appetising - and charge handsomely for it.
Hopefully, the troublesome two will clear off in a high dudgeon and leave the others to enjoy their meal.

You can see why I don't run a restaurant can't you?

 

[Lons]

Well it's in the past tense so what actually was the end result.

Rules are rules and I learned a long time ago that the customer is far from being "always right". All anyone can do in that situation is politely and nicely point out the obvious dangers of not complying with allergies and medical conditions and that you have delivered exactly what was agreed. Offer as said whatever compromise possible with the ingredients and facilities available and charge them extra for it to boot, it's a business after all.

I would expect the original couple would be extremely embarrassed especially at these other two spoiling their special occasion. Even if they left a bad review there can be replies to that and if all other reviews are positive people can generally see through one that's clearly out of place.

 

[Lurker]

This country seems to be full of attention seekers.

 

[AJB Temple]

Will post tonight when I get home what the outcome was. The £1200 shelled out at that point was for 12 people Roger, not 4. My mistake if my post was confusing. It was a pre-wedding special dinner as they are are not having the usual thing after their marriage, but going from the wedding (which is today) straight to a new job (medicine) overseas.

PS We are just a modest restaurant with aspirational high standards. We are pre-booked only and we mainly cater for groups plus a supper club. We open a maximum of three nights a week except in November / December. We are in no sense ambitious beyond what we do now as we have a vested interest elsewhere.

The social media point is a good one. We were mindful. At the time this occurred (Thursday night) I was double pi$$ed off.

 

[Duncan A]

..... and if the nut allergy nut really is allergic, surely she shouldn't even be in the room when the dessert is served.

 

[RogerS]

Our breath is bated, Adrian. How did you resolve it ?

 

[Lurker]

..... and if the nut allergy nut really is allergic, surely she shouldn't even be in the room when the dessert is served.

Most likely just an attention seeker.
Folks who say they are allergic and aren’t, are desensitising the catering industry to people who are truly allergic.

 

[AJB Temple]

Sorry Rog, meant to post but got side tracked. MRI scan this morning so now am relaxing watching the Pog in Zurich.

 

[AJB Temple]

In summary. I said we could add two people but not change the menu. If the pistachio allergy was serious I would have to book them in elsewhere as the kitchen is fully open to the guest seating area and I could not guarantee no pistachio powder in the room or sauces as it had been through our Vitamix and our version of a Pacojet so sauces etc may have trace amounts as well as the desert. I know all about nut allergies and anaphylactic shock from personal experience (walnuts) and did not want to be calling an ambulance. So we volunteered to try to book either the two of them or every one in at a local pub. Mr Intolerance kicked off. It was quite laughable as he was short and loud and flinging his arms about. Our young and very sweet assistant (19 - daughter of friends) was really upset by him as he was vibrating like he was plugged in, and pointing at her for some unknown reason. She burst into tears so I asked him to leave. It was not actually a request. He went and sat in his car whilst his wife had a conflab with the host couple in a side room. My front of house lady made it clear I was perfectly happy to close the kitchen as I had almost reached peak pi$$ed off.

We had no desire to ruin the pre-wedding party, but guests need to be civil. We do this for pleasure not as a career, and don't put up with divas and bullies. The hostess and Mrs Coeliac trooped outside to talk to Mr Intolerance knowing that we were not letting him in again without a serious and meaningful apology to our assistant. Miraculously he suddenly managed to overcome his fish and meat problems, Mrs Coeliac, really embarrassed by now, thought she would be "fine" without the desert, but we served her no bread or roux based sauces or pastry either. Mr Intolerance apologised to our assistant though he was beetroot red. The Host gave her a personal tip of £200 at the end, which was nice.

There was no more trouble that night. It is the first time we have had such an experience with a pre-booked and largely pre-paid group. The "Mr & Mrs" are a lovely couple and tied the knot yesterday. They were embarrassed by their plus two and made up for it with a very generous extra payment. I think everybody was happy in the end as 14 people got through 16 bottles of Krug, a full case of Ch. Margaux some 1er cru Grisegny 2018 Burgundy (a bargain frankly from Majestic) and a couple of bottles of good quality Sauternes. Amazing.

I've been thinking since how to deal with this kind of thing with parties and corporate groups, when one of the party arrives already refreshed and is aggressive. Since we opened this has been our only experience of boorishness. We have CCTV so people's antics are recorded for posterity if we wish. Takes all sorts I suppose.

 

[RogerS]

Many thanks, Adrian, for letting us know.

I take my hat of to you for the way you handled the situation. A masterclass IMO. I wouldn't have had the forebearance.

 

[Lurker]

Well done Adrian, I doubt I’d be as diplomatic.

 

[AndyP]

Incredible behaviour which did not deserve such a diplomatic response.

 

[AJB Temple]

Thanks guys. Actually it did deserve a diplomatic response. It was a wedding celebration and happy memories are the order of the day. Just because one person is an entitled d1ckhead doesn't mean they all are. It was also a good lesson for our helper as she saw someone stick up for her when a man treats her with disrespect.

Anyway I wasn't that diplomatic - I did chuck him out

 

[Lons]

Anyway I wasn't that diplomatic - I did chuck him out

No you didn't You asked him to leave, a proper chucking out is by the scruff of the neck, seat of the pants and physically out on his face.
Some of us here might have done that.

 

[Duncan A]

Very well handled; such a shame that some people set out to cause trouble, just to prove how "special" they are.
Duncan

 

[AJB Temple]

It's becoming an epidemic I fear. Very few people are truly coeliac for example, but when they are it is serious and I take it seriously. But we find a lot of people express avoidance preferences as intolerances or allergies. In a restaurant environment where it is pre-book only and not especially cheap, we find that true coeliacs make sure they check with you in advance. They are usually very reasonable people and have no choice but to be careful. One reason why groups book with us is they feel reassured we deal with these things properly and know exactly what is in everything. Likewise with the significant allergies - people will be clued up and prepared with antihistamines, inhalers, epis etc if they have a real issue. Totally fine with it and will bend over backwards to help if they let me know. What causes a problem is someone who has pre booked and confirmed no allergies, has seen the set menu and then tells you they can't eat X when they arrive.

I suspect we are beginning to see a bit of a problem with other things too. Has anyone else noticed the number of people, especially adult "celebs", who announce they have been diagnosed with ADHD. People are citing mental health issues, anxiety and depression as affecting them. Undoubtedly some people have problems, but it is now becoming very common.

 

[spb]

Has anyone else noticed the number of people, especially adult "celebs", who announce they have been diagnosed with ADHD. People are citing mental health issues, anxiety and depression as affecting them. Undoubtedly some people have problems, but it is now becoming very common.

I think this is a similar thing that happened a few years back with the autism spectrum - namely an increased understanding that it's a spectrum, not a binary yes/no diagnosis, and that people who "seem perfectly normal" may do so because they've developed coping mechanisms over the years to hide the effects of a milder version.

Of course once a few celebrities announce this there will be a bunch of bandwagon-jumpers following, but I do think there's more to it than just that it's fashionable now.

 

[Steve Maskery]

Excellent, Adrian, well done. I have no idea how I would have coped.
I've not been on the receiving end of that sort of behaviour, but I have witnessed it first-hand. It's not nice.

As as counter, I recently travelled to the US. I was alone and visually impared for most of the trip (I can wear my contact lenses for a few hours, but not a 24hr journey). Whislt I'm not completely blind, I can't see very well au naturel, so I use a white stick, not so much for myself (although it is great for negotiating steps), but so that other people keep out of my way and don't get upset if I bump into them.

The Air Hostess (is that the right term these days?) was fantastic. She made sure that had everything I need, was not intrusive but understood that I could not see the screens or anything else important. She was excellent. But customer service people get all sorts of abuse. They get blamed for things that are not their fault. They get ignored. They get sworn at. I know, I was once working in Customer Services.

So I wrote a nice email to IcelandAir telling them how pleased I was with the way I had been treated and asked if my email could be forwarded to both the lady concerned and her line manager.

There is no excuse for rude behaviour to people who are trying to do the best for you and every reason to show one's appreciation for a job well done.

 

[RogerS]

.....

So I wrote a nice email to IcelandAir telling them how pleased I was with the way I had been treated and asked if my email could be forwarded to both the lady concerned and her line manager.

Too many are quick to moan. The stars are the ones who write in to say how well they've been treated.

 

[Chris152]

a couple of bottles of good quality Sauternes.

22 summers ago, my then partner and I went to a family wedding in France, and as part of the occasion we all visited a local vineyard and we bought a case of their Sauternes. About nine months later, our son was born shortly before midnight. On my way home from the hospital, I stopped in a petrol station to buy a cigar, got home and the only wine we had in the house was a Sauternes. I sat in a deck chair in our little garden, smoked the cigar and drank the wine.
Each of his birthdays, I buy a bottle. I wouldn't choose to drink it by itself (or myself) but it's become a lovely little tradition.

It sounds like you handled the silly man well.

 

[AJB Temple]

Oddly enough Sauternes or similar such as Tokai or Barsac (latter from one of the 5 sauternes regions) is the only wine my wife will drink. She is a non-drinker but we have a half bottle at Christmas. She is newty after 1 glass. Even the best, allegedy, such as d'Yquem, I find a bit sickly. God with fois gras though if you are ok with gavage. In this case it was a 1990 La Tour Blanche, which is also a premier cru but a lot cheaper than d'Y and less cloying in my 'umble.

 

[Tiresias]

You seemed to have handled it as well as could be done. But you do this for pleasure?

Aggressive drunks are difficult at the best of times (a couple of decades of hosting corporate hostility has taught me that – mostly bankers, lawyers and accountants. You’d think they’d know better). Couple that with short man syndrome and a partner in front of whom face must not be lost…

I’ve had to deal with everything from basic drunkenness to aggressive leching. Polis called a few times. All smoothed over: these people were actual/potential clients.

Three things that I found worked:

Go out for a cigarette/cigar with them. I don’t actually smoke, but used to carry some just for this eventuality. Cold air (no shortage in Scotland) and subdued conversation can do wonders.

Get them so drunk they fall asleep. That’s a good one. Challenge them to a full quaich of whisky. I can do it, they can't.

Get their partner/colleague on your side, and use that. Manipulation.

The one thing that doesn’t really work is confronting aggression with aggression. I was a front row (I was going to say hooker, but that could be misinterpreted) in three or four first XVs. And look like it. But fronting up to drunks just escalates things.

Oh, and Sauternes. Love it, with blue cheese. Buy a case of it every year. Half bottles, mind you. But my partner doesn’t like it. So it’s building up in the cellar.

 

[AJB Temple]

Ha! Yes. I really love cooking and creating food and I don;t work full time now so I have time. Plus I am a bit stupid. I have owned a % of a high street restaurant but this is small and bespoke. It makes money but mainly because I own the building and don't need a wage

Your handling techniques are dead on I think. Agree that aggression never works. I am a big bloke too but my go to method is to listen mostly and then talk very quietly. I was sympathetic to the lady as my BFF is coeliac (real deal - bits of intestine removed etc) and I've cooked for her a lot. She was not being especially unreasonable actually - it was all him making a drama when none was needed.

Agree re half bottles. Unless it's a big group it is really difficult to get through a whole bottle normally before it starts to oxidise. Never heard of a quaich before - turns out it is a two handled bowl that looks like it would hold about half a bottle of whisky at least!

 

[RogerS]

...But fronting up to drunks just escalates things.

I also found that drunks feel no pain. Not me, I hasten to add.

 

[AJB Temple]

Shorty wasn't drunk at the start. He was just refreshed. As opposed to over refreshed.

 

[TrimTheKing]

Excellent stuff Adrian, sounds perfectly handled to me and even managing to do so with allowing the idiots to stay and not feel they had to leave out of embarrassment. A win all round.

We have a good friend who is (both her and their son) seriously coeliac and she always calls any restaurants we’re going to well in advance to discuss what she can/cannot have from the menu, then confirms during the week before.

She sees it as both the only option she has for her but also courteous to the restaurant.

When I say seriously coeliac, our families went on safari together a couple of years back to SA and she’d called months in advance to discuss.

She’d been fine for a week or so then spent 24h on the toilet in agony. Turns out the only thing they’d forgotten to tell her about (or in their defence probably didn’t realise) was the barley in the cranberry juice!

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Oh, and Sauternes. Love it, with blue cheese. Buy a case of it every year. Half bottles, mind you. But my partner doesn’t like it. So it’s building up in the cellar.

Try Tokay or PX sherry. Brown Bros Orange Muscat.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

No you didn't You asked him to leave, a proper chucking out is by the scruff of the neck, seat of the pants and physically out on his face.
Some of us here might have done that.

I threw someone out one night. Someone commented afterwards that he'd seen me throw the bloke and he'd heard him land (he'd gone over a steel bollard and a chain) .............. there was a fair time lapse.

 

[Phil]

Adrian if I wore a hat, I would take it off for you

When we eat out at friends they are aware of my no salt, and if they are having red meat I would only eat a very small portion.
Eating at restaurants requires lots of thought and menu searching.
I have serious weakness for chips, but potatoes are on the banned list (I do have a binge once a month on fish and a LARGE chips)

 

[AJB Temple]

When I say seriously coeliac, our families went on safari together a couple of years back to SA and she’d called months in advance to discuss. She’d been fine for a week or so then spent 24h on the toilet in agony. Turns out the only thing they’d forgotten to tell her about (or in their defence probably didn’t realise) was the barley in the cranberry juice!

Yep. I think many restaurants and service staff don't understand coeliac and how serious it can be. A lot, probably most, restaurants buy quite a few things in. Gluten pops up everywhere and is often not obvious. So you find it in chicken stock powder, thickeners, commercial pastes (and often domestic tomato paste), panko, batters, seitan (used in a lot of vegetarian stuff), soy sauce, dextrose as well as the obvious things like bread, pastry, cakes and pizza. A casserole cooked in beer or Guinness will contain gluten but restaurant staff my well not think of it that way.

Some things can really catch people out. Oats for example. Oats are gluten free but they are very often grown in rotation with wheat and barley and gluten contamination occurs at harvest and processing. You can buy oats that are kept pure, but you pay more.

Research shows around 1% of the population have coeliac disease, but under 40% are clinically diagnosed. Lots of people say they are gluten intolerant but you frequently find that they associate gluten with bread but not, for some reason, beer. We had one customer who made a big deal out of not eating bread because she was "dreadfully gluten intolerant" but I later saw her eating a pile of madeleines. I said "they are not gluten free". She said "That's OK, it's just cake and I am fine with cake". Hmm. The allergy spectrum.