Retirement , what is the end game.

[Woodbloke]

Sometimes her honey do list has to wait , so that you can finish what you need to do.

When I worked for Axminster some years ago now, my then boss Simon had access to the most important cupboard in the entire company, namely the Stationary Cupboard and on my first day he issued me with a hardback black book:



I had to go into AxHQ twice a month and on each occasion Simon and I used to sit down in the canteen and have a natter for half an hour, where he would let me know the stuff I had to work on over the following fortnight:



When I left work, I decided to keep the book as a memento of my time with the company, but I started to use the back pages, working forward...



...as 'hunny do' list, so this is the first entry for 2021. Note at the bottom SWIMBO's 'request' for a music box. This is the current 2026 page:



...with the current JK, wall, mounted display case at the bottom. Note please, that projects get carried forward year on year and are scribbled through once complete.....but the music box is still there as SWIMBO hasn't yet got around to choosing a suitable sounding mechanism SWIMBO knows that if it goes into the 'Black Book' it'll get made.....eventually - Rob

 

[Phil]

My TDL is drawn up by myself.
Wife knows it will be added, only I do the priority and also mark if big job.
Anything urgent get attention NOW!

I have now computerised it in Excel sheet, still need to check and print, then also add priority.

 

[duke]

I like your record book Rob, nice to look back and see what has been done.

 

[Woodbloke]

I like your record book Rob, nice to look back and see what has been done.

Thanks Scott. It's quite good to look back and see what's been made but it's also a useful reminder of stuff I've got to do, so I check it quite frequently - Rob

 

[Accipiter]

My TDL from the LOML happens usually *on the day* and is given verbally... not written down... So... if I 'run out of time' or something 'takes longer' than she thinks...

 

[duke]

Good news, son and grand daughters are on their way to us. They left at 7:45am, eta 3pm. Holly is too sick to make the trip.

 

[RogerM]

What an interesting and thought provoking thread! I retired at age 55 in 2008 after a chequered career which finished with me as an investment and tax planner at HBoS, a job which I grew to hate, and with the 2008 financial crisis looming, I decided that this was going to be horrible and I wanted to be no part of it. After I had left, I didn’t so much as take a single backward glance over my shoulder. My wife initially went 3 days per week part-time in her job as a health visitor, but found, as many part-time workers do, that she was expected to service a full-time caseload in 3 days per week for part-time pay, so she took early retirement as well.

Early retirement was one of the best decisions we have ever made. For our final year of work I crunched the numbers and we tried living on our projected pensions, taking into account that there would be no commuting costs, no National Insurance and no pension contributions, and we were both pleasantly surprised at the lifestyle we could have on a relatively modest income, and that has continued to be the case.

We have lived in the same house in West Devon for the last 37 years. It’s a friendly area, but then, as has been observed elsewhere, so is Gloucestershire and Northumberland. We have lived in Cumbria, and visited Gloucestershire and Shropshire, North Yorks and Northumberland multiple times and can vouch for the friendliness of them all. I get the feeling that local friendliness is directly proportional to the distance from London, but I stand to be corrected.

We have 2 children. A bachelor son in San Francisco who is brilliant at keeping in touch. He has no partner or children, but he is in touch most days via WhatsApp with interesting snippets and/or banter, and we video call most weeks for about an hour. He’s back in the UK maybe 3x per year, and we try to get out there once per year, although that is on hold at the moment due to the political situation. I doubt whether we would see any more of him even if he lived in the UK. We also have a married daughter with our 2 grandchildren in Surrey. Our grandson is mildly “special needs” and our daughter has made it explicitly clear that if one of us needs help in our later years, not to factor her into any arrangements, so we haven’t, and are staying put. We have an excellent local health centre where we have no difficulty getting seen, dentist and gym where my wife does exercise classes and I play racketball twice a week. We have many friends and I lead the local U3A cycling group on our monthly rides. For us, any attempt to relocate and start afresh in our early 70s would almost certainly be a catastrophic mistake.

The key advice I would give before moving areas is to consider the extent and depth of your personal infrastructure in terms of healthcare, dental care, clubs, friends and general environment for what you enjoy doing. How easily would it be to duplicate, or improve upon, elsewhere? What are the family dynamics? Do your children/grandchildren live nearby, and how often do you actually see them? How often would you like to see them? How often would they like to see you (not necessarily the same thing!). Consider that whilst grandchildren under 10 often love time with grandparents, those in their teens maybe not so much. They are not young for long. Be a bit selfish. After a lifetime of work, retirement should be some “us” time, whilst you both (hopefully) have your health. Get the big stuff done early whilst you’re still able. For instance, the LOML and I trekked across the highlands of Ethiopia (known as “The Roof of Africa”) when we were 62. I’m not sure we could do it now at 72. What do your family genetics look like? I have already outlived all my grandparents, and only one of our parents has made it past 80, so we’re trying to buck the trend .

If you really want to try a different location, maybe try renting for a year on a “try before you buy” basis before committing to a sale and purchase? So many considerations to make, but I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Steve Maskery]

That is a really interesting take Roger.

Neither of us has any direct family, so children and grandchildren don't enter into the calulation.

If you really want to try a different location, maybe try renting for a year on a “try before you buy” basis before committing to a sale and purchase? So many considerations to make, but I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.

That is VERY good advice and I wish we'd done that before buying this place. I love the quietude here and the neighbours are the best, but the house itself is a money pit. We paid probably 100K€ more than it was actually worth, and we are continuing to spend serious money (new windows, front door, fireplace, barn roof, heating system, kitchen - all significant sums that we should not have been expected to spend, more than just a paint job). But it seemed very cheap compared with UK prices. The (English) vendor knew that and took advantage. I should have been more circumspect.

Heigh-ho, it's only money. Actually it's not only money, it's also a lot of work, work that I don't really want at this time of life. I've spent this afternoon in my barn, moving stuff around so that the never-ending rain doesn't get at anything too precious.

With 20/20 hindsight, we should have locked up everything in the UK, come over in a little old campervan and toured the country to see where best to plant ourselves. Yes it is dead money in one sense, but in another sense it is an investment in a successful future. Marry in haste, repent at leisure is the phrase that comes to mind.

I really hope that you make a good go of this. Adventures don't come along that often at this time of life, but if they do, and they are good adventures, it is a boon in later years. I have zero regrets about moving to France, just buying this dump of a house.

S
PS Just don't make that adventure a bike ride in Iran.

 

[Phil]

Roger, very good read and lots of food for thought.

 

[duke]

What an interesting and thought provoking thread! I retired at age 55 in 2008 after a chequered career which finished with me as an investment and tax planner at HBoS, a job which I grew to hate, and with the 2008 financial crisis looming, I decided that this was going to be horrible and I wanted to be no part of it. After I had left, I didn’t so much as take a single backward glance over my shoulder. My wife initially went 3 days per week part-time in her job as a health visitor, but found, as many part-time workers do, that she was expected to service a full-time caseload in 3 days per week for part-time pay, so she took early retirement as well.

Early retirement was one of the best decisions we have ever made. For our final year of work I crunched the numbers and we tried living on our projected pensions, taking into account that there would be no commuting costs, no National Insurance and no pension contributions, and we were both pleasantly surprised at the lifestyle we could have on a relatively modest income, and that has continued to be the case.

We have lived in the same house in West Devon for the last 37 years. It’s a friendly area, but then, as has been observed elsewhere, so is Gloucestershire and Northumberland. We have lived in Cumbria, and visited Gloucestershire and Shropshire, North Yorks and Northumberland multiple times and can vouch for the friendliness of them all. I get the feeling that local friendliness is directly proportional to the distance from London, but I stand to be corrected.

We have 2 children. A bachelor son in San Francisco who is brilliant at keeping in touch. He has no partner or children, but he is in touch most days via WhatsApp with interesting snippets and/or banter, and we video call most weeks for about an hour. He’s back in the UK maybe 3x per year, and we try to get out there once per year, although that is on hold at the moment due to the political situation. I doubt whether we would see any more of him even if he lived in the UK. We also have a married daughter with our 2 grandchildren in Surrey. Our grandson is mildly “special needs” and our daughter has made it explicitly clear that if one of us needs help in our later years, not to factor her into any arrangements, so we haven’t, and are staying put. We have an excellent local health centre where we have no difficulty getting seen, dentist and gym where my wife does exercise classes and I play racketball twice a week. We have many friends and I lead the local U3A cycling group on our monthly rides. For us, any attempt to relocate and start afresh in our early 70s would almost certainly be a catastrophic mistake.

The key advice I would give before moving areas is to consider the extent and depth of your personal infrastructure in terms of healthcare, dental care, clubs, friends and general environment for what you enjoy doing. How easily would it be to duplicate, or improve upon, elsewhere? What are the family dynamics? Do your children/grandchildren live nearby, and how often do you actually see them? How often would you like to see them? How often would they like to see you (not necessarily the same thing!). Consider that whilst grandchildren under 10 often love time with grandparents, those in their teens maybe not so much. They are not young for long. Be a bit selfish. After a lifetime of work, retirement should be some “us” time, whilst you both (hopefully) have your health. Get the big stuff done early whilst you’re still able. For instance, the LOML and I trekked across the highlands of Ethiopia (known as “The Roof of Africa”) when we were 62. I’m not sure we could do it now at 72. What do your family genetics look like? I have already outlived all my grandparents, and only one of our parents has made it past 80, so we’re trying to buck the trend .

If you really want to try a different location, maybe try renting for a year on a “try before you buy” basis before committing to a sale and purchase? So many considerations to make, but I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.

Thanks, when the time comes we would most likely rent a home then decide what area would be best for us.

 

[Cabinetman]

What an interesting and thought provoking thread! I retired at age 55 in 2008 after a chequered career which finished with me as an investment and tax planner at HBoS, a job which I grew to hate, and with the 2008 financial crisis looming, I decided that this was going to be horrible and I wanted to be no part of it. After I had left, I didn’t so much as take a single backward glance over my shoulder. My wife initially went 3 days per week part-time in her job as a health visitor, but found, as many part-time workers do, that she was expected to service a full-time caseload in 3 days per week for part-time pay, so she took early retirement as well.

Early retirement was one of the best decisions we have ever made. For our final year of work I crunched the numbers and we tried living on our projected pensions, taking into account that there would be no commuting costs, no National Insurance and no pension contributions, and we were both pleasantly surprised at the lifestyle we could have on a relatively modest income, and that has continued to be the case.

We have lived in the same house in West Devon for the last 37 years. It’s a friendly area, but then, as has been observed elsewhere, so is Gloucestershire and Northumberland. We have lived in Cumbria, and visited Gloucestershire and Shropshire, North Yorks and Northumberland multiple times and can vouch for the friendliness of them all. I get the feeling that local friendliness is directly proportional to the distance from London, but I stand to be corrected.

We have 2 children. A bachelor son in San Francisco who is brilliant at keeping in touch. He has no partner or children, but he is in touch most days via WhatsApp with interesting snippets and/or banter, and we video call most weeks for about an hour. He’s back in the UK maybe 3x per year, and we try to get out there once per year, although that is on hold at the moment due to the political situation. I doubt whether we would see any more of him even if he lived in the UK. We also have a married daughter with our 2 grandchildren in Surrey. Our grandson is mildly “special needs” and our daughter has made it explicitly clear that if one of us needs help in our later years, not to factor her into any arrangements, so we haven’t, and are staying put. We have an excellent local health centre where we have no difficulty getting seen, dentist and gym where my wife does exercise classes and I play racketball twice a week. We have many friends and I lead the local U3A cycling group on our monthly rides. For us, any attempt to relocate and start afresh in our early 70s would almost certainly be a catastrophic mistake.

The key advice I would give before moving areas is to consider the extent and depth of your personal infrastructure in terms of healthcare, dental care, clubs, friends and general environment for what you enjoy doing. How easily would it be to duplicate, or improve upon, elsewhere? What are the family dynamics? Do your children/grandchildren live nearby, and how often do you actually see them? How often would you like to see them? How often would they like to see you (not necessarily the same thing!). Consider that whilst grandchildren under 10 often love time with grandparents, those in their teens maybe not so much. They are not young for long. Be a bit selfish. After a lifetime of work, retirement should be some “us” time, whilst you both (hopefully) have your health. Get the big stuff done early whilst you’re still able. For instance, the LOML and I trekked across the highlands of Ethiopia (known as “The Roof of Africa”) when we were 62. I’m not sure we could do it now at 72. What do your family genetics look like? I have already outlived all my grandparents, and only one of our parents has made it past 80, so we’re trying to buck the trend .

If you really want to try a different location, maybe try renting for a year on a “try before you buy” basis before committing to a sale and purchase? So many considerations to make, but I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.

Just a bit curious Roger, what is the Political situation that deters you from visiting San Francisco? Not a city I’ve visited unfortunately.
Ian

 

[duke]

RogerM, regarding family genetics, as mentioned my father is 90. His mother lived to one month shy of 100 and grandmas other 12 sisters all lived into their late 90's. Ten of which were smokers and drinkers into their 80's.
I am more towards my mothers Swedish genes and not the longevity of the paternal side.

 

[AJB Temple]

I have zero regrets about moving to France, just buying this dump of a house.

It's easy to get carried away. Houses and land are a massive purchase for most of us and all too often we don't do enough due diligence. I've certainly made mistakes with property choices.

 

[RogerS]

Just a bit curious Roger, what is the Political situation that deters you from visiting San Francisco? Not a city I’ve visited unfortunately.
Ian

MAGA? Trump? Just a guess or maybe Roger’s social media posts would fall foul of entry requirements……just joking.

 

[Spectric]

Just a bit curious Roger, what is the Political situation that deters you from visiting San Francisco?

Maybe no longer meets the criteria for being allowed into Trumps America ! or could it be not getting into but being allowed back out .

 

[Cabinetman]

MAGA? Trump? Just a guess or maybe Roger’s social media posts would fall foul of entry requirements……just joking.

Haha, but you’ve got that the wrong way round Roger it’s the uk that arrests people for Social m stuff on arrival, like they did with the American writer of Father Ted.

 

[Mike G]

Haha, but you’ve got that the wrong way round Roger it’s the uk that arrests people for Social m stuff on arrival, like they did with the American writer of Father Ted.

We may be straying, somewhat, but the USA have said that they are going to look into visitors social media posts and bar them entry if they find something critical of the government or president.

 

[AndyP]

The article I read suggested the USA could insist social media logins would be included in the ESTA application

 

[Cabinetman]

Crikey, that’s news to me! Just as well I’m not a rabid left winger with a social media habit lol. But I’ve got my green card now thank goodness.

 

[AndyP]

Article dates back a few months and starts with “could”

US could ask tourists for five-year social media history before entry

The plan would affect people from countries, including the UK, who can fill out a form in lieu of a visa.

www.bbc.com

 

[Woodbloke]

Crikey, that’s news to me! Just as well I’m not a rabid left winger with a social media habit lol. But I’ve got my green card now thank goodness.

I think a diplomatic passport might be more useful - Rob

 

[Distinterior]

"Soshal Meedja" aside, personally I can't think of any circumstances at the moment that would convince me to voluntarily want to go to the US.

 

[Woodbloke]

"Soshal Meedja" aside, personally I can't think of any circumstances at the moment that would convince me to voluntarily want to go to the US.

Without straying into the very difficult area of the current state of the USA, I'm inclined to agree with you - Rob

 

[Mike]

"Soshal Meedja" aside, personally I can't think of any circumstances at the moment that would convince me to voluntarily want to go to the US.

Me too! I'm not in a hurry to return for a visit in the next three years.

 

[Blackswanwood]

"Soshal Meedja" aside, personally I can't think of any circumstances at the moment that would convince me to voluntarily want to go to the US.

+1 until normal service resumes.

 

[AJB Temple]

I used to commute to and from the US for some time. Director of stuff mainly in NY and Chicago, but a lot of trips to Atlanta (very odd) and Dallas. Chicago was often scary. I've probably done the crossing nigh on 200 times. I gradually grew to detest the airport procedures from patronising immigration officers. The Don does not bother me - he's just doing what he was elected to do. The global ignorance of many civilians and extreme poverty in many places, does.

 

[GaryR]

From a story in the New York Times today:

...Last year, as tourism grew worldwide, the United States was the only major destination to see a decline in foreign visitors, recording a 6 percent drop, according to the World Travel and Tourism Council, an industry group. January saw a continued decline in inbound visitors, down 4.8 percent from January 2025....

 

[Cabinetman]

Well I love it here. To say any more would be pointless.

 

[SamQ aka Ah! Q!]

I gradually grew to detest the airport procedures from patronising immigration officers.

Amen. Brusque, rude, uncompromising and convinced of their own stature and position in this world.

Or, come to typing the above, I wondered is that symptomatic of a certain stratum of Murricanes generally?

 

[Blackswanwood]

Amen. Brusque, rude, uncompromising and convinced of their own stature and position in this world.

Or, come to typing the above, I wondered is that symptomatic of a certain stratum of Murricanes generally?

And let’s be fair … the guys manning passport control in any country have a difficult job as those who should not be there present themselves as those who should. Equally, the UK (as do many other countries) has its share of those having the symptoms mentioned.

It would be a shame if this thread turned into a “pile on” of criticism and generalisations of the US.

 

[TrimTheKing]

Agree with the above, let’s not start a pile on.

Don’t forget, what we in the UK see of what’s happening in the US is what the media barons want us to see and not necessarily representative of the whole truth.

We’ll all have stories of sh!tty customs people and cultural generalisations from across many borders and throughout our lives.

The US has its fair share of village idiots, as does the UK, let’s not start fighting over whose are the more stupid lest we become the topic…

 

[SamQ aka Ah! Q!]

Roger, roger, understood Control.

Sorry; you make an excellent point: stones/glass houses.

 

[Phil]

And let’s be fair … the guys manning passport control in any country have a difficult job as those who should not be there present themselves as those who should. Equally, the UK (as do many other countries) has its share of those having the symptoms mentioned.

When we landed at Heathrow September 13 2001 (remember the 11th?) The counter we selected had this middle age lady who was smiling, pleasant and asked all the questions and gathered all the information required and one felt like a long lost friend.
Paris, well depends on who you pick, as long as you speak anything but English.
Arriving at Belfast from Brussels the queue I selected had a youngish 'girl'.
Rude, obnoxious, unpleasant. Not sure which long drop she came from.
Luton & Gatwick - pleasure flying in and out.

 

[Distinterior]

I apologise if my comments in Post #62 above contributed to sending this thread off topic.... It was not my intention.

I've had two really good holidays in the US in years gone by and met some great people during those trips, but sometimes my frustration with recent events over there get the better of me and my need to vent comes to the fore.

Apologies again.

Tim.

 

[Steve Maskery]

I'll be happy if I never fly anywhre ever again. JFK is the worst airport I have ever experienced, and I have been to over 40 countries in my time.

Driving in France is easy, the roads are generally good and empty. City centres are another matter, of course, as all the old cities were built before the motorcar was even thought of, but otherwise driving is much easier than in the UK.

The downside is that France is a much bigger country, so some journeys can be very long. A few weeks ago I drovw SWMBO to St Malo. It was 9 hours each way. I never want to do that again.

So I am happy being a home bird, at least for now. We've not had a proper holiday since we got here. A few trips back to blighty, but for functional stuff rather than relaxation and pleasure. Otherwise it's been work, work, work. I'm re-fitting a very unhappy door at the mo, it's taken me a week, on and off. Everything takes an age these days.

And that is something else to remember about retirement. Yes, we have more domestic time to do stuff, but productivity levels drops markedly. This is true for just about everyone I know who is retired. I used to be in the workshop at 8am and work right through until 6, and enjoy every minute of it, and regularly, too, not just when I had a deadline. Now, three or four hours and I've had enough. 6h is a long day and my eyes will be complaining.

Retirement, eh?
S

 

[CHJ]

Retirement , what is the end game.​

To live it to the best of ones ability within any given constraints of health and wealth.

Personally after 33 years of retirement and never enough hours in the day, DIYing my daily surroundings into something that melts into a state that blends into the unconscious acceptance with the prospect of better equipment and facilities for hobby time enjoyment its Anno Domini and health that is frustratingly calling time.

What do I have? contentment in my everyday surroundings, constant partner support (over 64 yrs.), dispersed family that are all doing OK, a few close friends/neighbours and other acquaintances that would willing jump in to provide assistance if needed on a reciprocal basis of past events.

What do I think has been the most significant factor to personal wellbeing, Partner and daily surroundings.

 

[Blackswanwood]

When we landed at Heathrow September 13 2001 (remember the 11th?) The counter we selected had this middle age lady who was smiling, pleasant and asked all the questions and gathered all the information required and one felt like a long lost friend.
Paris, well depends on who you pick, as long as you speak anything but English.
Arriving at Belfast from Brussels the queue I selected had a youngish 'girl'.
Rude, obnoxious, unpleasant. Not sure which long drop she came from.
Luton & Gatwick - pleasure flying in and out.

Not sure what your point is Phil but that’s hardly a statistically robust sample

 

[Phil]

And let’s be fair … the guys manning passport control in any country have a difficult job as those who should not be there present themselves as those who should. Equally, the UK (as do many other countries) has its share of those having the symptoms mentioned.
It would be a shame if this thread turned into a “pile on” of criticism and generalisations of the US.

Not sure what your point is Phil but that’s hardly a statistically robust sample

Maybe, BUT, compared to Africa it is a good example.

Traveling in Africa has its challenges but the customs and immigration are friendly smiling people.
Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Botswana, Eswantini (Swaziland), Namibia.
South Africa can be a bit of a hit & miss.

{Edit}

Our son has traveled to USA on business quite a lot.
He has a 10 year visa, renewed not so long ago.
Last trip was in January this year, Jhb-Newark-San Francisco and return. No issues despite Donny-Duck and all his rhetoric.
Previous trips Jhb-Atlanta- east coast/west coast/north west.
He has no negative comments on their immigration and customs.
(dislikes their food)

 

[Cabinetman]

Agree with the above, let’s not start a pile on.

Don’t forget, what we in the UK see of what’s happening in the US is what the media barons want us to see and not necessarily representative of the whole truth.

I know I said I wouldn’t say anymore, but Trim, that is absolutely spot on!

I have been pulled aside twice when entering the us for I think reasonable reasons and the people in the back checking up on things are courteous and thorough. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t extremely worried of course!
The last time the old Italian type guy was really nice and we had a long putting the world to rights chat.

 

[Steve Maskery]

I last went to the US September 2024. My biggest problem was re-entering the EU. I was stopped at Reykjavik because I had only 6 weeks left on my residency card. The guy behind the desk didn't recognise it at all (it was, understandably, all in French). I think he let me in with some reluctance.

This couple were not so lucky:

‘Don’t go to the US – not with Trump in charge’: the UK tourist with a valid visa detained by ICE for six weeks

Karen Newton was in America on the trip of a lifetime when she was shackled, transported and held for weeks on end. With tourism to the US under increasing strain, she says, ‘If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone’

www.theguardian.com

S