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I hate MIDGES

RogerS

RogerS

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And off to pastures new
I HATE MIDGES

They are the worst this year for a very long time. Mrs S has given up telling me to stop swearing. Little f*****s.

If I had a £1M spare I'd donate it to research to find a way to totally eliminate the b*****s from the planet.

Nothing works to keep them away other than a good smoking fire in a wheelbarrow.
 
I thought that whisky was meant to help? Drink enough and the whisky will replace your blood and kill off any little midges who try to eat you!
 
RogerS said:
I HATE MIDGES

They are the worst this year for a very long time. Mrs S has given up telling me to stop swearing. Little f*****s.

If I had a £1M spare I'd donate it to research to find a way to totally eliminate the b*****s from the planet.

Nothing works to keep them away other than a good smoking fire in a wheelbarrow.
Click to expand...

Calm down boy, you should live in WILD Africa! :cool::cool:

akirk said:
I thought that whisky was meant to help? Drink enough and the whisky will replace your blood and kill off any little midges who try to eat you!
Click to expand...

Best advice so far .....................:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
Avon Skin-so-Soft.

Yep, really. It worked so well with midges that I thought I would try it in Africa with tsetse flies, and it works for them too. If you thought midges were bad, you ought to try tsetses. They're evil......but Skin-so-Soft works for me. The only downside is that you have to re-apply fairly regularly, and you have to either rub it into your hair/ scalp, or wear a hat.
 
RogerS said:
Nothing works to keep them away other than a good smoking fire in a wheelbarrow.
Click to expand...

Burn dried elephant dung. The fog is impermeable to insects. Shouldn't be too difficult to come across in your neck of the woods....:cool:
 
There are 3 foolproof solutions:

1 Find a partner that midges prefer to you. She will moan but.....well, she will anyway
2 Get a good big pond with fish in it. Midges hover and fish snatch
3 Bats. Encourage. Even more lethal than fish.
 
Mike G said:
Avon Skin-so-Soft.

Yep, really. It worked so well with midges that I thought I would try it in Africa with tsetse flies, and it works for them too. If you thought midges were bad, you ought to try tsetses. They're evil......but Skin-so-Soft works for me. The only downside is that you have to re-apply fairly regularly, and you have to either rub it into your hair/ scalp, or wear a hat.
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Been there. Tried it. Got the bites. These aren't ordinary midges. These are M&S Northumberland midges.
 
jimmy s said:
You haven't seen midges till you've been up the west coast of Scotland. Bloody horrendous.
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We travelled around the west coast a good month early specifically to avoid them, better the cool wind than clouds of the little b***rs.
It's the females that bite but isn't that true of all species ;)
 
E caithness midge
Ye'll meet 'im here, ye'll meet 'im 'ere
By ro'die, park or bridgie,
There's no a pest on a' 'e earth
Can rouse ye lek 'e midgie.
He'll sample baith yer airms and leygs,
He'll mak' ye cross and fidgy,
He'll never let ye rest in peace,
'E tantalizin' midgie.
He's blistered a' ma nose and ears,
Ah'm spreckled lek a pidgie,
I try a smok' til' scer 'im off,
Bit, faith, he's dour, 'e midgie.
'E shepherd herdin' on 'e hill,
'E toff 'at's in 'e lodgie,
'E love affairs o' Jack and Jill,
's attended by 'e midgie.
Ah've sailed 'e seven ragin' seas,
An up 'e Murrimbidgee,
But roch altho' they wir at times,
They're neithing till 'e midgie.
Against 'e fleeag, moose an' clo'k,
Aw hev a vi'lent grudgie,
But blast 'e warst o' insec' trock,
'E tempan, foosum, midgie
 
“They” changed the formula for skin so soft and the sales plummeted, it was changed back pdq.
Apparently there are folks selling knockoffs on the internet, be sure you buy from the Avon lady.
 
chataigner said:
Worst I ever saw were in the Laurentians, north of Montreal. Had to have the car professionally valeted to remove the blood stains where we had swatted scores of them inside the car.
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One spring, I think 2005 spent three days collecting winter dead fall wood in the bush, the black fly were so bad it was hard to see in front of yourself. Even though I had a coat plus hat netting they still manage to find a way in. Buggers got the best of me ,few hundred bites. I don't have a bad reaction to their bites but you need to resist the urge to scratch. My wife on the other hand has very bad reactions to the bites.
 
I agree about the midgies in West Scotland but to change the species a little I've not recovered yet from a birdwatching trip to the Everglades where the mosquitoes were big enough and numerous enough to carry you off.
 
Morning Roger

My wife spent some time in Africa a few years back and was told that a teaspoon of Marmite (eaten, not spread) every day would deter mosquitos. It worked for her. There is always a possibility that she was not susceptible anyway but she took it as an insurance.

Worth a try?

I can only see one possible problem, depending in which Marmite camp you are. :)

Cheers

Dave
 
Phil said:
According to Britannica they are harmless?

:cautious:

View attachment 26928
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Midges are NOT harmless, I'll have you know.

"
An estimated 20 per cent of working forestry days in Scotland are lost because of clouds of biting midges.
It is estimated that midges cost the Scottish tourist industry up to £268 million a year in lost visits.

in 1872 Queen Victoria fled a highland picnic after being “half-devoured” by midges.

On Rum, a local legend has it that - as punishment for improperly burying a body - a gravedigger was stipped, tied to a post and left outside for the midges to feast on. They killed him. Eventually."

Source:

45 Facts About the Highland Midge by Dan Aspel​

 
Jungle formula, only thing that works for me, used to use it a lot when I went shooting and the biters are out. It’s deet, but being in my second week of treatment for Lymes from a similar little b@stard, I’ll be taking my chances with the chemical option in the future.
Interesting that the doctor I saw said this year cellulitis and Lymes infections from bites have been really really prevalent.
 
The clue is in the italics Phil where it says "also known as nonbiting midge"

An hour in the Keilder Forest around here or along the west coast of Scotland when the female midges have hatched would as already said render you to a gibbering wreck.. Some people are affected more than others and can get nasty infected lumps by the hundred.
The only nonbiting variety in these parts are the male midges which hatch first but the clouds in your face, hair and eyes are still extremely unpleasant.
 
In my late teens and early twenties I was pumped so full of antihistamine for hayfever that the midges would bite but not irritate. My face and arms would look as if I had chicken pox without pain nor discomfort.
I walked the West Highland Way and did 3 coast to coasts across Scotland always in May in the late 80s. To kill them inside the tent we found Brut antiperspirant worked well. When we were forced to camp in the glens we packed up and headed for the higher ground before attempting to boil water for a morning brew as water in a warming saucepan would attract the blighters and soon turn water black.

We have been advised around here, Normandy, to look out for asian tiger mosquitoes which leave behind a bigger and more irritating bite and carry the risk of disease. https://www.anses.fr/en/content/tiger-mosquito
 
AndyP said:
I walked the West Highland Way and....camp in the glens we packed up and headed for the higher ground before attempting to boil water for a morning brew
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Ahhh, yes, the mucky track east of Loch Lommond... hated it. We found that "The Midge Line" - above which they did not go - was about 2000ft. Bit of a hike for a cuppa.
I once was in Torridon Youth Hostel in August and some wally opened the dorm window "to let in some air" :mad: a black wedge of massed Insectae dove in. He was rapidly introduced to profane Scottish and Northern Irish commentary, and we stood over him for the next two hours as we insisted he kill the lot before we could sleep in there. His parting comment? "We don't have midges in Coventry"🤯
 
It may shock some readers here, but I have only been to Scotland once. It was in July 2013. We toured around from Skye in the west to Inverness in the east. Lovely warm weather and we never saw a single midge.

I'll let you know if I plan a repeat trip!:)
 
SamQ aka Ah! Q! said:
Ahhh, yes, the mucky track east of Loch Lommond... hated it. We found that "The Midge Line" - above which they did not go - was about 2000ft. Bit of a hike for a cuppa.
Click to expand...
We were bagging munros en route so getting half way up a mountain before breakfast was no hardship.
 
Ah the midge, say what you like but here in the West of Scotland they are regarded as wee b**t*rds. I walked a section of the West Highland Way once, gave up because of the midge.

As Kenneth McKellar said in his son to the midge
"If you manage to kill yin, another half million,
Are ready tae come tae the wake!"

 
johnward said:
I've not recovered yet from a birdwatching trip to the Everglades where the mosquitoes were big enough and numerous enough to carry you off.
Click to expand...

Deet (but nowhere near a camera!!) was my favourite for mozzies; you could treat the rim of your hat to avoid putting it on your face, then the cuffs and collar of a VERY light shirt to prevent smearing it on your hands and accidentally scratching your nose or rubbing your eyes. 😮
One summer expedition, high up an Amazonian tributary, Shilpit X in our party neglected the edges of his feet above his flip flops in camp. Overnight he collected 40 bites just there, despite the net.
 
SamQ aka Ah! Q! said:
Good on you Andy!! Some lovely hills en route. A personal favourite (though a bit off The W.H. Way) is Ben Lui and its buddy: Beinn a'Chlèibh.
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My memory and photographic records are not very good. An entry in my list says I climbed Beinn a Chleibh in Feb 88 and I know this photo was taken in Feb 88 but it could also be Ben More which we also scaled while in Crianlarich .
No midges in Feb.😀
AndyScotFeb88.jpeg
 
OK, I asked my partner about this (senior reader/professor in microbiology and parasitology). Main work on mosquitos (malaria), although early work on tsetse (trypanosomiasis) – really nasty little beggars btw – but, although they are different species there are some similarities.

Any errors in what follows are my faulty memory, not the source of the information.

Midges are attracted by CO2, heat and odour. The person that knows most about them is Alison Blackwell (I hope I have the name right), now retired, but the expert on Scottish midges. Look up a web site called Smidge https://www.smidgeup.com . They have a map of midge levels. Apparently they measure the levels of midges by catchers with dry ice (CO2) and then weigh them. In kilos sometimes.

Miscellanea: midges have biting mouth parts rather than the sucking ones of the mosquito (biting and sucking…let’s not go there, sounds like a Frankie goes to Hollywood lyric). Whilst mosquitoes carry many diseases to which humans are susceptible, midges are mostly a hazard to livestock (bluetongue for example), although there is something in south America that affect humans and a midge is one of the transmission vectors.

Anyway, these Smidge people market a product as a repellent. I cannot vouch for it myself, as I have never particularly been troubled by the blighters, despite having travelled around the west of Scotland quite a lot. But that is perhaps, as my partner delicately pointed out, because I was either sailing, or in a pub, restaurant or night club. I wonder if the Ritz in Rothesay is still going. Possibly the worst nightclub in Scotland, Or would that be Room at the Top in Livingston, or Fat Sams in Dundee. Actually the list is endless, and I digress…
 
I have heard that too. I will check with the professor. Could it just be that O is the most common blood type? I am a refreshingly exclusive A-.

I vaguely remember it being explained to me that it might be something to do with sugars exuded in sweat being higher in O that other types. But this is the partially blind leading the… Well, you know what I mean. Personally, if it is not a large building with a sustainable income stream I tend to glaze over.

So, if you want to avoid being bitten, find someone with smelly feet, who breathes a lot, has had a drink or two, and is, hmmm, glowing.

Incidentally, as I type, my partner is dissecting mosquitos. I find it difficult enough getting my head round that, but Alison Blackwell, who I mentioned earlier, dissected midges. Fiddly.
 
AndyP said:
My memory and photographic records are not very good. An entry in my list says I climbed Beinn a Chleibh in Feb 88 and I know this photo was taken in Feb 88 but it could also be Ben More which we also scaled while in Crianlarich .
No midges in Feb.😀
View attachment 26950
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Beautiful picture, no matter the hill.
I agree, could be Ben More if you took the classic ascent out the back of the old Youth Hostel. Remember the massive black range in the kitchen?
 
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