• Hi all and welcome to TheWoodHaven2 brought into the 21st Century, kicking and screaming! We all have Alasdair to thank for the vast bulk of the heavy lifting to get us here, no more so than me because he's taken away a huge burden of responsibility from my shoulders and brought us to this new shiny home, with all your previous content (hopefully) still intact! Please peruse and feed back. There is still plenty to do, like changing the colour scheme, adding the banner graphic, tweaking the odd setting here and there so I have added a new thread in the 'Technical Issues, Bugs and Feature Requests' forum for you to add any issues you find, any missing settings or just anything you'd like to see added/removed from the feature set that Xenforo offers. We will get to everything over the coming weeks so please be patient, but add anything at all to the thread I mention above and we promise to get to them over the next few days/weeks/months. In the meantime, please enjoy!

When people get the wrong idea.

Lons

Old Oak
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Name
Bob
I didn't want to derail Steve's AI thread any further but Roger's post jogged my memory............

................a long, long, long time ago, I was standing in the check-in queue at JFK waiting to deposit a new Commodore PET computer….the name emblazoned all over the box. I was poked sharply in the back by an enraged American granny incensed that I hadn’t made any airholes in the box :ROFLMAO:

A very long time ago I was helping a mate to put in a filtered seawater supply from the sea at Lowestoft for the MAAF Labs. It was a major job involving digging three trenches each around 100yards long out to sea for 100mm pipe and deep holes for the filter units which looked like a bank of missiles when standing on the promenade waiting to be installed. I remember the Labour party conference was on in Blackpool at the time and I told a couple of interested observers they were pointing in that direction for a reason. :ROFLMAO:
It was "fun" racing against time and tide as we could only work when the tide was out though did attempt with minor success to hold it back using the three 'dozers on the job.

Anyway the existing beach sand was of the wrong type for the filters and we bought in 60 x 1 tonne dumpy bags which were deposited at the far end of the prom. These had to be moved to the site individually using a fork lift and I took my turn with that. Sunny weather and a fair number of Joe public milling around and I was unloading one of the bags when an old lady started hitting me across the back with her walking stick. "How dare you remove the sand from our beach? You should be ashamed, I'm going to speak to my MP about this". :oops: No amount of explanation could convince her we were adding sand not removing it. Understandable really. :unsure:

My mate is a bit of an inventor and eccentric. He was an expert on water filtration hence the contract but dangerous to work with, e.g. standing on the filter heads to keep them down, tide starting to fill the deep hole with a dozer suspending a dumpy bag over his head and he's slashing the bottom of the bag with a Stanley knife - picture the potential issue! Then the only way he could get out of the hole was grab the dozer bucket and be lifted out. H&S would have had a field day.
The pipe came in 50 m coils and were very difficult to straighten so he has the "bright" idea to tie one end to the bottom of a lamp post and the other to his car towbar, "a few sharp jerks should straighten it". I made myself scarce while he tried that one.

As an aside to that we were walking along the beach one evening after dinner when I saw a young girl maybe early 20s waist deep in the water. Something not quite right, fully clothed, her head down and didn't answer our shouts asking if she was ok so I went in and pulled her out while my mate rang for an ambulance. We visited her in hospital the next evening and she was on suicide watch but safe. we were finished the job and off home the day after so didn't get back but I often wonder what happened to her and if she managed to get the help she needed to pull her life around. It's very sad that people can get into such a state.
 
Up until the last paragraph Bob, I was going to select the 😂 reaction emoji for your description of the old lady taking you to task for 'removing the sand from Blackpool each... and the antics of your mate on straightening up the pipe - and slashing the bags, grabbing the dozer bucket...

It's to be hoped the young lady found better times for herself going forward 🙏
 
I'm sure this little tale of mine fits in with your heading if I may add to it - except for the end of your post...

As a 15 year old I came across some books on Falconry in Oldham library... Fast forward to September 27th 1972 (I was 21½ years old tothe day) and had purchased a Lanner falcon through the ads of a weekly periodical called "Cage & Aviary Birds".

I was living in Bath at the time but had to collect the falcon at Paddington station... The train journey to Paddington was uneventful and I duly met the seller and returned to board the train - hooded falcon on fist (glove) fitted with jesses, swivel and leash, fully expecting to be told by the guard I'd have to travel back in the goods/luggage section. However he said just board and get settled.

Having boarded before others, I settled, falcon on left hand/glove. As others boarded I received some funny looks - as you may have expected. The carriage began to fill and others took up seats opposite me - but seemingly un-bothered.

Just before the train was due to depart an *extremely* smartly dressed business type young women boarded and was about to take the seat next to me, put her case on the table... and suddenly saw the hooded falcon. Her first words where "I take it it's stuffed?" ... Merely was "No"... to which she picked up her case and virtually ran down the corridor. I still remember the smiles on the other seated passengers as she departed... I've often wondered if she was a solicitor or similar and what the others may have said when they got home 😎
 
Just as an aside to my little story, the mate involved is the son of the well known zoologist George Cansdale who regularly showed up on Blue Peter. I seem to remember he was holding the baby elephant when it decided it needed to leave his calling cards and made for a chaotic episode.
I think it was in the 60s. I met George a couple of time before he died and his stories were entertaining to say the least. :ROFLMAO:

google Blue Peter baby elephant issue.
 
Staying with the spirit of the thread, London black cab drivers were a mine of great experiences. One recalled the time he saw an old guy and with his pet dog waiting for a cab. He stopped and the guy and dog got into the back whereupon the old guy promptly put the dog on the back seat.

"Could you please put your dog on the floor, Sir"

"No, he's alright. "

"I'm sorry, Sir, I must insist. Please put the dog on the floor as I don't want dog hairs all over the back seat"

"No, he'll be fine where he is"

"Sir, I don't want the next passenger boarding and then complaining about getting dog hairs all over their suit"

"I told you, he'll be fine where he is"

"Look, I'm not moving this f****ng cab until you put the f****ng dog on the floor"

"He won't lose any hairs because he's stuffed"

"But I saw him sitting on the pavement by your side?"

"Yes, I'd just picked him up from the taxidermist over on the other side of the road. Me and the missus had him for 15 years and he recently died. We couldn't bear to see him go out from our lives"

And sure enough, when the cabbie looked across he saw a shop, called Get Stuffed, and he wished for a big hole to swallow himself up as he felt such a heel.
 
There was a welsh rent-a-mob who besieged the house (and scrawled " Pedo" on the walls) of a paediatrician.
 
My mate is like that. Really good at what he does but the amount of corners cut (in regards to health and safety... no mask when working with dust!!) just to 'get on with the job. Good you made yourself scarce with the lampost idea Lons and sorry to hear about the young lady.

Well done getting her out after spotting her... Thanks for sharing the story btw.
 
Staying with the spirit of the thread, London black cab drivers were a mine of great experiences. One recalled the time he saw an old guy and with his pet dog waiting for a cab. He stopped and the guy and dog got into the back whereupon the old guy promptly put the dog on the back seat.

"Could you please put your dog on the floor, Sir"

"No, he's alright. "

"I'm sorry, Sir, I must insist. Please put the dog on the floor as I don't want dog hairs all over the back seat"

"No, he'll be fine where he is"

"Sir, I don't want the next passenger boarding and then complaining about getting dog hairs all over their suit"

"I told you, he'll be fine where he is"

"Look, I'm not moving this f****ng cab until you put the f****ng dog on the floor"

"He won't lose any hairs because he's stuffed"

"But I saw him sitting on the pavement by your side?"

"Yes, I'd just picked him up from the taxidermist over on the other side of the road. Me and the missus had him for 15 years and he recently died. We couldn't bear to see him go out from our lives"

And sure enough, when the cabbie looked across he saw a shop, called Get Stuffed, and he wished for a big hole to swallow himself up as he felt such a heel.
It could still shed hairs through surely...

I'm with cabbie! ;)
 
On the subject of names, Siemens galactic HQ ordained that with immediate effect all switchboards across the world would answer incoming calls with Siemens <wherever>. As in Siemens Berlin. There was one entity that refused to do this. Care to guess where?
 
On the subject of names, Siemens galactic HQ ordained that with immediate effect all switchboards across the world would answer incoming calls with Siemens <wherever>. As in Siemens Berlin. There was one entity that refused to do this. Care to guess where?
I saw a similar report about Wang having a mutiny in their Cologne office.
 
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