• Hi all and welcome to TheWoodHaven2 brought into the 21st Century, kicking and screaming! We all have Alasdair to thank for the vast bulk of the heavy lifting to get us here, no more so than me because he's taken away a huge burden of responsibility from my shoulders and brought us to this new shiny home, with all your previous content (hopefully) still intact! Please peruse and feed back. There is still plenty to do, like changing the colour scheme, adding the banner graphic, tweaking the odd setting here and there so I have added a new thread in the 'Technical Issues, Bugs and Feature Requests' forum for you to add any issues you find, any missing settings or just anything you'd like to see added/removed from the feature set that Xenforo offers. We will get to everything over the coming weeks so please be patient, but add anything at all to the thread I mention above and we promise to get to them over the next few days/weeks/months. In the meantime, please enjoy!

A tad of mirth

I'm struggling for jokes today, so you'll have to put up with one liner.


How about the SS Great Britain. :)




I've already got my coat on.
 
Arguing with a Woman is like Reading the Software Licence Agreement.

In the end, you ignore everything and click "I agree"



It's OK if you disagree with me.

I can't force you the be right!!

Or

If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong.
 
duke said:
What meds are taking Phil.
Click to expand...

I saw at the Indian shop the other day, those small little pyramid things that you burn, like incense.
You can buy the small ceramic house that fits over it with a chimney for the smoke. (wood will also work)

The one that caught my eye was "Cannabis"! :ROFLMAO: "For that relaxed feeling."
I was tempted but the family were with me.
Saw a cannabis shop at one of the shopping malls last week..
 
Phil said:
Saw a cannabis shop at one of the shopping malls last week..
Click to expand...
In Canadia last year I went into a cannabis shop and had a natter with the lad behind the counter for about 40mins. A complete revelation...it's easier to buy a joint of some sort than a pint (not that Canadian pints are the right size :ROFLMAO:) - Rob
 
If you drive through the reservations (Res) you will see many cannabis shops. The closest town to us is Sturgeon Falls and there are five shops.
 
Lots in Den Hague and Amsterdam too. Very freely available. Vast range of seeds available too. Also laced cookie shops abound.
 
Woodbloke said:
In Canadia last year I went into a cannabis shop and had a natter with the lad behind the counter for about 40mins. A complete revelation...it's easier to buy a joint of some sort than a pint (not that Canadian pints are the right size :ROFLMAO:) - Rob
Click to expand...
Canadian pints are the same size as UK pints, if I remember correctly (it's at least 7 years since I was there...).
 
A Dublin man sees a sign outside a Kerry farmhouse: 'Talking Dog For Sale'... He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden The man goes around the back and sees a nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"Do you really talk?" He asks the dog. "Yes!" The Labrador replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story!" The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the Garda. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world drug lords, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.

"I signed up for a job at Dublin airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired!"

The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the Kerryman how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid!" The owner says.

“A tenner?? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"

"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!"
 
A little boy got on the bus and sat next to a man reading a book. He noticed the man had his collar on backwards.

“Why is your collar on backwards?” the boy asked.

The man, a priest, replied, “I am a Father.”

“My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that,” said the boy.

The priest looked up and said, “I am the Father of many.”

The boy shook his head. “My Dad has four boys, four girls, and two grandchildren—and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”

Growing impatient, the priest said, “I am the Father of hundreds,” and returned to his book.

The boy sat quietly for a moment, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should try putting your pants on backwards instead of your collar.”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top